Live Life - Motivation

My Bathroom - The Great Teacher

Sit down and gather close, I would like to tell you a story about my bathroom. 

One day, while cleaning my bathroom I decided that this time, I would really get it clean.  Being an elderly bathroom, clean is a relative term.  There is some age old dirt in this bathroom that no amount of scrubbing and nasty chemicals can get clean. 

Never the less, I let my perfectionist loose and attempted to clean the uncleanable.  I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned for an entire afternoon and still it wasn't quite clean enough. 

I had a brain flash!  What I really needed to do was PAINT the bathroom, that would do the trick.  So, I spent the following day painting my bathroom from head to toe.  Walls, ceiling, cupboards, door and windowsill.  I had now spent two days performing a chore, that usually takes no more than half an hour. 

What's interesting, is not so much the amount of time that it took me to clean the bathroom, but what happened next. 

After finally finishing my task of cleaning/painting the bathroom I stood back to admire my work.  But instead of seeing how clean and fresh my dear old bathroom was, all I could see were all of my mistakes.  Everywhere I looked I could see mistakes, patches where the paint was not quite even, tiles that could have been scrubbed a little cleaner, mistakes, mistakes, mistakes.

I had run into one of the many perfectionist monsters, actually a couple of them:

• It's never good enough
• When you do something right it's very small and when you do something wrong it's very BIG.

If you are a perfectionist I'm sure that you can relate to the story of me and my bathroom. 

Maybe you had a super productive day clearing clutter and at the end, all you could see were the places you didn't clear.  Perhaps you finished a big project at work or school and instead of celebrating your success you beat yourself up for the project you hadn't quite completed. 

If you're anything like me, this happens on an almost daily basis.  Instead of looking at our day and going through all of the things we've accomplished we can only see everything we didn't quite get to.

The next time this happens you're going to do what I did with my bathroom.  In fact, I encourage you to try it RIGHT NOW!  This tool is called:

Three things

1. When you find yourself going down the road of mistakes, STOP.
2. Take a deep breath
3. Get out a piece of paper (or an imaginary one)
4. List three or more things that you accomplished today or in a given situation.
5. Give yourself some love

Now this might sound simple, but it is a powerful tool.  When I found myself strolling down mistake lane in my bathroom, I left the room, took a deep breath and came back in and this time I was only allowed to look at what I had accomplished, which was an awful lot.  Suddenly I could relax and really appreciate all of the good work I had done, instead of beating myself up.

Warning.  Your perfectionist mind will try to edit what "counts" as an accomplishment.  I'm here to tell you that it all counts.  If you're having a challenging day this could be your list:

• got out of bed
• had a shower
• ate breakfast

Again, there is no accomplishment too small to be included in your list. 

I would love to hear from you! Please email and share with me the three things that you've accomplished today.  I promise you, I will hold a party in my heart for each and every one of them.  Email me at spaceforlife@gmail.com.

Clear Clutter - Time Container

All or Nothing? Start with something! 

My clients often tell me that one of the hardest things about clearing clutter is just getting started. One of the reasons for this is that if you have clutter, you are probably a perfectionist and one of the trademarks of perfectionism is all or nothing thinking.

Have you ever had this thought?

"If I could just take 3 weeks off work, I could clear all my clutter at once! Make that a month. If I really dedicate myself for a whole month I could really do it right."

So either we clear all the clutter, right now, perfectly, or not at all. The reality is that most of us opt for the not at all. I mean, who wants to take 3 weeks of their precious holidays to clear clutter? That's why we need to start small! Small is mighty, small is powerful and small is HUGE.

So, this is what you're going to do, you're going to use a tool that will change your life! This tool can be used for any task you have been procrastinating whether it's doing the dishes, doing your taxes or clearing some clutter. This tool is the...

Time Container!

1. Set a timer for 5-15 minutes
2. Clear clutter until the timer goes off
3. STOP
4. Celebrate!!!

There are a few important things to remember about using the time container. First of all, as you set your time container you also want to set your expectation container. You are not going to clear your entire closet in 15 minutes, but you can go through one drawer, or the top of your bedside table or a stack of junk mail.

You also have to stop. The reason we stop is to honour ourselves and to avoid slipping into "doing it all" and staying up all night trying to get it right. Remember that one of the trademarks of perfectionism is all or nothing thinking, so once we get started our instinct may be to do it all and to do it perfectly. This can be a punishing path to go down, as those of us who have stayed up into the wee hours clearing clutter know very well.

Celebrating is also important. The reason that we celebrate is to acknowledge that we accomplished our task. So many big things in life pass us by without notice, but when we start to celebrate the little things, we're more likely to start celebrating the big things too. We're also more likely to try clearing clutter again if we make it fun and easy.

Here are some great ways to celebrate:

• Make a nice cup of tea
• Go for a walk around the block
• Call a supportive friend
• Pat yourself on the back
• Shake your booty!

However you decide to celebrate, make sure that it's healthy and supportive. If the clutter on your butt is getting you down, celebrating with food may not end up feeling like a celebration, so shake that butt to your favorite tune instead.

Now, go forth, clear clutter and most importantly, have FUN! When you clear clutter, you start making space for what you really want in your life and that is definitively worth celebrating!