Live Life - The Fear Project

I'm Scared, in a Good Way!

At this very moment I'm scared.  I can feel the fear snaking around my belly and slithering up to my heart.  My teeth are clenched and my jaw is tight.  I feel grumpy and stubborn and the last place that I want to be is here, writing these words.  I could walk away, I could plop myself in front of the television and watch myself disappear into the night or I could stay and feed the forked tongue more of what it wants.

You see, I made a deal with myself that I would do this.  I made a deal with a list of 5 things that frighten me.  I made a deal with the Universe that I would check them off one by one.  I have witnesses who will hold me accountable.  This is no joke, this is an act of Will.

What would happen if you took a list of 5 things you were afraid of and did them all in quick succession?  How would you feel?  What would be different?  What would be possible?

I'm going to find out what happens and as part of me sits terrified, the other part can't wait.  The fear project has begun and what's so amazing about the process is that as I move forward, and as I talk about it, folks around me are starting to build their lists and they are starting to tick things off one by one.

Still, I doubt my list, I doubt that the items I chose are worthy of such a project.  I'm not sure if they scare me enough, but the feeling in my body tells me otherwise.  The shaking no of my head and the look of sour lemons on my face tell the truth.  I don't want to do it, but I will.

Who knows who I'll be on the other side?  I know from past experience that when I do things that scare me, I suddenly I find myself in a world full of opportunities and possibility.  If I can do five big things that scares me, then I can tackle the little things that scare me and the next time a big sucker comes along, I can take care of that one too.

For the record here's my current list.  New items may be added as I move along:
  1. Organize a workshop that I facilitate.
  2. Raise my rates.
  3. Revise, finish and submit a short story I wrote in the summer.
  4. Write an article and/or secure a column with a magazine.
  5. Take Stand-Up 101 and perform in front of an audience.
#1 & #2 are mostly taken care of by sending out this newsletter.  I had a meeting with my writing teacher Sarah Selecky yesterday about #3 and I'm signing up for #5 on today.  That just leaves #4...  Eek!

I hope that you'll join me on my mission.  If you're having a hard time coming up with your list of fears, ask the people who know you the best what should be on there, they won't let you down.  The fear project has begun and I dare you to be a part of it.  Make that a Triple Dog Dare, those are pretty hard to refuse.

Good luck!  I will give you a full report in January.  In the meantime, have fun with fear and as always, let me know how it goes. 

This is me, diving in!