Are you living in a fantasy or do you accept your current reality?
Perhaps you wish you were this kind of person:
"I wake up every morning at 4am to run on my treadmill and I love it!! Then I alternate between squeeeeezing my Thigh Master and rolling away on my Ab Roller. I feel great and I love working out at home! I especially love walking my 'glowing' gorgeous self into the kitchen to make a green smoothie with my Magic Bullet! Healthy never tasted so good!
My favorite activity is scrapbooking! I have beautiful baby books for each of my 4 children, including journal entries from when I was pregnant and imprints of their little baby feet. The latest one was ready to pass around at Cam's first birthday and I made copies for all 4 grandparents. Of course there were countless photos of my handmade creations. Sweaters, hats, blankets, hand woven moccasins. I just love crafting!
I love self-help books. I read each one I buy from front to back and complete all of the exercises! With every book I get better and better and love myself more and more!
I love my life!!!!!!!!!!!"
OK, maybe you don't wish you were EXACTLY like this person, but I think all of us have an idea of the kind of person we could be.
You know, if only we weren't... well.... us.
So often, we buy things for the person we wish we were and the life we wish we had.
You would like to be the kind of person who gets up at 4am to run on the treadmill so you buy a treadmill and keep your fingers crossed that you magically become a treadmill person. This is despite the fact that you love nature and hate the idea of walking nowhere in the basement.
You buy the craft supplies because you like to imagine yourself making incredible scrapbooks for each of your 4 children but, the fact is, all those supplies just make you feel guilty because you don't have the time, energy or interest to start, let alone complete, the project.
You buy self help books because it feels good to imagine feeling different in your life but, the fact is, you never get past the first 3 pages and then the book sits and sits, calling you out for the person you could have been if only you read this magic book.
It's time for a reality check!
Who are you really? What's really important to you at this juncture in your life? Where are your priorities? Not in a fantasy life, but in YOUR life!
Here are some of the classic things we buy or hang on to for our fantasy self:
- exercise equipment - the roller blades you've used once, the treadmill covered with clothes, the pilates ball your kids play with in the backyard, you get the idea...
- self-help books - 'nuff said!
- the remnants of past lives/careers - for example, the curricula of a retired teacher who has no interest in teaching again
- clothes that are 10, 20, 30 years too small because you might fit into them some day
- camping equipment - but you hate the idea of lying on a deflated air mattress in a damp tent. (Maybe you're just not a camping person! It's OK... You can stay in a B&B.)
- cooking gadgets - that waffle iron, fondue set, air popper, dehydrator (Gadgets won't make you cook more or better. Sad but true.)
- furniture & stuff for your next house, apartment, incarnation
- art/craft supplies - You thought you'd like knitting but you think it's boring.
I could go on, but I think you get the idea.
You might be thinking that by letting go of the stuff, you're letting go of the person you would like to be. That you're letting go of hope.
That you're... giving up.
BUT, by letting go of the stuff, in accepting where you are RIGHT NOW in your life, head, body and soul, you can actually make space for the person you REALLY are.
When we bring our belongings in line with who we really are, when we accept where we are and who we are in this moment, THEN, and only then can we change.
When I first discovered the concept of Radical Acceptance, I'll be honest with you, it made my brain hurt. More than that, it made my heart hurt. For so many years, I thought I needed to fix myself so that I could accept myself. I thought I needed to buy the books and the gadgets, to make the changes first so I could be "good enough" to accept. I couldn't have been more wrong... It took a lot of clutter clearing and a lot of work, but once I looked in the mirror and saw and accepted ME, boy did things begin to change.
This is your invitation to step into your life and be yourself. It all starts with just a little honesty and a little letting go...
Good luck and as always let me know how it goes or if you have any questions.