The Trying Game

Sometimes when you're clearing clutter and can't decide whether or not you can/want/should/could throw something out, you just have to try. 

That's right TRY! 

This is what trying looks like. 

1. Take the item you're unsure of. 
2. Put it in the garbage/donation box. 
3. See how you feel.
4. Let the item stay a little longer.
5. See how you feel.
6. After a set amount of time (max 3 hours) check in to see what your final decision is.  Does it stay in the garbage or does it go back on the shelf?

We get so serious with clutter clearing, so all or nothing.  If we let it go it means EVERYTHING!  I'm here to let you know that it's OK to just give it a try.  Try on letting go.

When you let yourself try, you get to see how it really feels to let go.  Not how you think it's going to feel, but how it really feels, and you might be surprised.  Maybe you'll feel angry when you thought you would feel sad.  Maybe you'll feel sad when you thought you'd feel scared.  Maybe you'll feel nothing at all. 

Whatever it is, the feeling is key.  We hold onto clutter, to a large extent, because we're afraid of how we'll feel if we let it go.  This is a great little trick because although you're just "trying on" letting go of your clutter, you get to feel REAL feelings.  Once they're felt, the item isn't as charged as it was before and suddenly it's much easier to let go of. 

So... go give it a try!  Don't worry, you can always change your mind if you want to, although I predict you're not going to have to.  Either way, comment below. 

Take care,
Cecilia Moorcroft

Welcome to Your Real World

Are you living in a fantasy or do you accept your current reality? 

Perhaps you wish you were this kind of person:

"I wake up every morning at 4am to run on my treadmill and I love it!! Then I alternate between squeeeeezing my Thigh Master and rolling away on my Ab Roller.  I feel great and I love working out at home!  I especially love walking my 'glowing' gorgeous self into the kitchen to make a green smoothie with my Magic Bullet!  Healthy never tasted so good!

My favorite activity is scrapbooking!  I have beautiful baby books for each of my 4 children, including journal entries from when I was pregnant and imprints of their little baby feet. The latest one was ready to pass around at Cam's first birthday and I made copies for all 4 grandparents.  Of course there were countless photos of my handmade creations.  Sweaters, hats, blankets, hand woven moccasins.  I just love crafting! 

I love self-help books.  I read each one I buy from front to back and complete all of the exercises!  With every book I get better and better and love myself more and more!

I love my life!!!!!!!!!!!"

OK, maybe you don't wish you were EXACTLY like this person, but I think all of us have an idea of the kind of person we could be. 

You know, if only we weren't... well.... us.

So often, we buy things for the person we wish we were and the life we wish we had. 

You would like to be the kind of person who gets up at 4am to run on the treadmill so you buy a treadmill and keep your fingers crossed that you magically become a treadmill person.  This is despite the fact that you love nature and hate the idea of walking nowhere in the basement. 

You buy the craft supplies because you like to imagine yourself making incredible scrapbooks for each of your 4 children but, the fact is, all those supplies just make you feel guilty because you don't have the time, energy or interest to start, let alone complete, the project. 

You buy self help books because it feels good to imagine feeling different in your life but, the fact is, you never get past the first 3 pages and then the book sits and sits, calling you out for the person you could have been if only you read this magic book. 

It's time for a reality check! 

Who are you really?  What's really important to you at this juncture in your life?  Where are your priorities?  Not in a fantasy life, but in YOUR life!

Here are some of the classic things we buy or hang on to for our fantasy self:

• exercise equipment - the roller blades you've used once, the treadmill covered with clothes, the pilates ball your kids play with in the backyard, you get the idea...
• self-help books - 'nuff said!
• the remnants of past lives/careers - for example, the curricula of a retired teacher who has no interest in teaching again
• clothes that are 10, 20, 30 years too small because you might fit into them some day
• camping equipment - but you hate the idea of lying on a deflated air mattress in a damp tent.  (Maybe you're just not a camping person!  It's OK...  You can stay in a B&B.)
• cooking gadgets - that waffle iron, fondue set, air popper, dehydrator  (Gadgets won't make you cook more or better.  Sad but true.)
• furniture & stuff for your next house, apartment, incarnation
• art/craft supplies - You thought you'd like knitting but you think it's boring. 

I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

You might be thinking that by letting go of the stuff, you're letting go of the person you would like to be.  That you're letting go of hope. 

That you're...  giving up. 

BUT, by letting go of the stuff, in accepting where you are RIGHT NOW in your life, head, body and soul, you can actually make space for the person you REALLY are. 

When we bring our belongings in line with who we really are, when we accept where we are and who we are in this moment, THEN, and only then can we change. 

When I first discovered the concept of Radical Acceptance, I'll be honest with you, it made my brain hurt.  More than that, it made my heart hurt.  For so many years, I thought I needed to fix myself so that I could accept myself.  I thought I needed to buy the books and the gadgets, to make the changes first so I could be "good enough" to accept.  I couldn't have been more wrong...  It took a lot of clutter clearing and a lot of work, but once I looked in the mirror and saw and accepted ME, boy did things begin to change.

This is your invitation to step into your life and be yourself.  It all starts with just a little honesty and a little letting go... 

Good luck and as always let me know how it goes or if you have any questions.

Take care,
Cecilia Moorcroft

Is What You Have, What You Want?

I love a good question.  I collect good questions, not in a clutter way, in a mull it over while sipping a perfect cup of Pink Grapefruit Sencha way. 

I rummage through bargain bins and flea markets for good questions.  I pluck them from blossoming cherry trees.  I find them like twigs in my hair after a walk through the forest.  I overhear them in coffee shops.  I salvage them from the side of the road. 

I siphon them all into the specially built question keeper in my heart and wait for them to grow roots.

Recently a friend asked me this very simple question:

"Is what you have what you want?"

You may find this surprising given what I do, but the background noise of my life often goes something like this:  "I can't have what I want.  What I want doesn't matter.  Why even bother asking for what I want, I won't get it anyway.  It's better not to want anything, that way I won't be disappointed."  Most of the time it's a train passing through town, I can hear the distant whistle and then it's gone.  Other times it's a dank moldy smell I can't seem to find the source of, constant.

"Is what I have what I want?"

What a good question!  I've been instructed to ask this about everything. 

• About my socks - They feel really good, but I'm not crazy about the colour. 
• About my tea pot - YES!  I searched, I pined, I purchased.
• About my cellphone - It gets the job done but it's no iPhone. 
• About my spring jacket - NO, it's falling apart and makes me feel dumpy. 
• About my fruit bowl - It's the perfect shade of turquoise and I LOVE IT! 
• About my face cream - It's not my favorite, I bought this one because I thought I shouldn't spend the extra money on Dr Hauschka. 

I received additional instructions about asking this question.  The most important thing about this question is asking it.  If the answer is no, it doesn't mean I need to toss the socks or the jacket (although I can if I want), the idea is to paint a picture of my life. 

Is the life I have the life I want?  Did I loose a button or two somewhere along the way?

The most striking thing that I've noticed in asking this question is that there are so many places in my life where things have slid from YES! to so so...  It's not that I have to change it all at once, but just bringing it into my awareness has created a shift.  The more I ask, the more I create the life I want.  I know one thing for sure, I need more cashmere in my life!

Now it's your turn.  Start with the small things and work your way up. 

"Is what you have what you want?". 

As always let me know how it goes in the comments below.  I'd also love to hear some of your favorite questions, for my collection.  ;)

Ask away brave questioner, ask away!

Take care,
Cecilia Moorcroft